Bhai Dooj, also called Bhau Beej in Maharashtra, Bhai Phonta in Bengal and Bhai Tika in Nepal, closes the five-day Diwali period. It is a quieter sibling to Raksha Bandhan: a sister welcomes her brother, marks his forehead with tilak, feeds him, and he blesses her and gives a gift.
Timing
The day is Dwitiya, the second tithi of the bright half of Kartika. The auspicious window for the tilak is in the afternoon, according to most almanacs, and varies by city. The Bhai Dooj page gives the date and the tilak window for 49 cities. City pages such as New Delhi, Toronto and Singapore show the local picture, and the any-city tool covers other places. Dates are not repeated here.
Samagri: the tilak thali
| Item | Use |
|---|---|
| Roli or kumkum, and rice grains | For the tilak on the forehead |
| A lamp and incense | For the aarti |
| Sweets, dry fruit, a coconut in some regions | Offered to the brother |
| Betel leaf and supari | In some families, offered with the tilak |
| A kalash or small pot of water | Placed on the thali in some homes |
| A cloth, a handkerchief or a gift | Given by the brother |
| A prepared meal | The sister cooks his favourite dishes |
Steps in order
- The sister bathes and prepares the thali and the meal.
- The brother is seated on a clean mat facing north or east, as the family does, and the sister applies roli and rice on his forehead.
- She offers a coconut or sweet in his hands, and ties a thread or waves a lamp in a small aarti, praying for his long and healthy life.
- She feeds him by hand, first a sweet and then the meal.
- He touches her feet or blesses her, and gives a gift.
- In some families the brother eats at his sister’s home and not at his own on this day, in remembrance of the story.
- A sister who lives far away may send the tilak and sweets with a message, and the brother can call to bless her.
The katha
Yamuna and Yama, in the Puranic tradition, are the children of Surya, the Sun, and Sanjna. Yamuna, who became the river, loved her brother and often invited him to visit her. Yama, busy with his duties as the lord of dharma and of death, did not come for a long time.
At last, on the second day of the bright half of Kartika, he remembered the invitation and went to her house. She welcomed him with joy, applied tilak, offered him food and sweets and sat with him in conversation. Pleased, he asked what she wanted. She asked that any brother who visits his sister on this day, and is given tilak and a meal, should have no fear. Yama granted it. This is why the day is also called Yama Dwitiya, and why many people also bathe in the river Yamuna on this day.
Another story links the day with Krishna visiting his sister Subhadra after he defeated Narakasura, and being welcomed with tilak and sweets.
Regional variations
Customs differ by region and family; follow your family’s custom. In Bengal the sister fasts until she has applied the Phonta, a tilak made of sandal, ghee and kajal, and sings a verse. In Maharashtra the brother is welcomed with an aarti and a feast. In Nepal the Bhai Tika has seven colours of tilak and a garland, and it is part of the Tihar festival.
Fasting and food
Some sisters wait to eat until after they have applied the tilak, while others eat as usual. If you are pregnant, diabetic or on regular medication, please do not wait on an empty stomach, and apply the tilak after a light meal. A warm meal and company make the day complete.
Frequently asked questions
↳ How is Bhai Dooj different from Raksha Bandhan?
On Raksha Bandhan the sister ties a thread and the brother promises protection. On Bhai Dooj she applies tilak and prays for his long life, and the focus is on a shared meal.
↳ Why is it also called Yama Dwitiya?
Because of the story in which Yama visited his sister Yamuna on this day and gave a blessing to brothers who do the same.
↳ Can a married sister apply the tilak?
Yes. In fact it is often married sisters who invite their brothers home. If the brother cannot come, he may visit later or call.
↳ What if I have no brother or sister?
Many people keep the day with cousins, friends or neighbours and some families keep the day with a prayer to Yama and Yamuna.